Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Idol Rant # 33 - Season 8 Finale
Going into this week, I had prepared myself for Kris to get no respect and for this to, once again, be all about Adam. Kris winning the coin toss and finally getting back to the pimp spot gave me fleeting hope that it could be a sign of things going his way. After the first round, the judges popped the balloon on the fantasy world that this silly girl has been living in and got back to the Adam pimping that has been going on all season. After all, their choice must win.
Adam -- With his toned down version of "Mad World", Adam finally sang something that I enjoyed the whole way through. One of the judges thought that the fog machine and trench coat gave it a Phantom of the Opera feel. That musical belongs to David Cook, thank you very much. If Adam would reign in the screeching then he might not be that bad. Unfortunately, Adam can't seem to help himself. "Change is Gonna Come" was an over-the-top screech-a-thon that made my ears hurt and he followed that up with the hot mess co-written by Kara Dioguardi called "No Boundaries". This "artistic" garbage doesn't do anyone any favors and caused Adam to hit some wonky notes and was just painful. It also convinced me that Kara should be fired and never allowed to write another song again. This may be the worst winning single in Idol history. Even Randy thought this song was crap though Adam called it "beautiful". Come on, Adam. Don't suck up to her. If you are as good as you think you are then you don't need to.
Kris -- Kris started with an excellent retooling of "Ain't No Sunshine" that was a hard right hook sure to muss Adam's guyliner. This boy is not going down without a fight! He followed it up with "What's Goin' On?" which could go to radio tomorrow and be a big hit. Simon and Randy thought that it was too "light" for this stage of the competition. Well, excuse me fellas, but he didn't pick it. He just killed it. Kris fared better with "No Boundaries" than Adam did but still couldn't help the lame lyrics (which you could actually understand with Kris singing). The judges seemed to be apologizing to Kris at the end for his inevitable loss. I can only hope, and vote like a demon, so that they are proven wrong. Save the Season with a vote for Kris! Follow this link to hear his best performance of the season (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrh0tUSn8FI) which he will hopefully perform again on the Grand Finale.
DialIdol Results
They did not call a winner, however, their current standing are:
1. Kris
2. Adam
David Cook, an actual rocker, will be on Idol tonight! He is supposed to sing a song dedicated to his brother, Adam. I can't wait!
Until next season...Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Idol Rant 5.13.09
I wanted to start the Rant this week by addressing the travesty of justice that occurred last Wednesday night. There is no way that Allison should have gone home. The Evil Powers That Be were jerking me around when they announced that Kris was safe right out of the gate. This, of course, got my hopes up that the dead wife pushing tool was going to get the boot. I should have known better. Allison's final performance of "Cry Baby" was one of the most emotional performances on Idol ever. She was sent home before her time and my only hope is that, like Daughtry, she makes them regret letting her get away. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwNBYcumsyQ
It was also obvious last week that, with the token girl out of the way, there was nothing to stop the Adam/Danny finale that the judges have been pushing for all season. I tried to prepare myself for The Crucifixion of Kris Allen via the Bobble-headed Dimwits by thinking of the positive things that will come from his ouster.
1. I won't have to watch the show anymore this season and there will be no more late nights writing the Rant.
2. Danny Gokey could beat Adam and become an even less successful Idol than Taylor Hicks.
3. Adam will win and Idol will go down in flames when 19 Entertainment is faced with all the lawsuits from "fans" who have lost their hearing listening to Adam on the radio.
4. Kara will undoubtedly say something stupid and guarantee that she will not be back next season. A pipe dream, I know.
5. Adam will get the pimp spot yet again making him the most pimped Idol in history (though I think he may already be).
6. There will, hopefully, never again be an Adam Lambert cover on EW.
7. You get the point. I could go on all night but I need to get to bed. :)
Gokey - "Dance Little Sister"/Terence Trent D'Arby & "You Are So Beautiful"/Joe Cocker
"Dance Little Sister" was a raspy, yelling mess. Granted, Paula didn't do him any favors with this song. "Sign Your Name" is a better song but Danny wouldn't have been able to pull it off either. Despite this, Randy assured the audience that raspy (aka hoarse) = good and Paula said it = magic. Danny then let us know that he is not *Nsync. Really, tool? I thought I was watching JT up there. Go home! As if the first was not bad enough, we then had to sit through "You Are So Beautiful" which Taylor Hicks sang a few seasons back. Randy said that Danny can really, really, really sing. Really? Simon then called it a vocal master class. Wonder if he still thought that a few seconds later when Danny said that he is not worried (i.e. doesn't care) about the opinions of the judges? Bet Simon wishes he could take back those lies now. Ungrateful cocky blighter. Watch This! It sums it up precisely. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVDoLU2HMjY
Pimp - "One"/U2 & "Cryin'"/Aerosmith
This was Adam's fourth trip to the pimp spot this season which just goes to show how unfair this season has been (Danny - 2; Kris - 1). If he is really all that then the judges would not need to guarantee votes by having him go last. Simon also proved how low he would go when he actually begged the audience to vote for Adam after his second performance. This is just unreal. Adam tortured "One" by forgetting the lyrics and attempting to cover it up with screeching. Trust me people. Look it up on YouTube and pay close attention. He completely botches the words. The one thing that I remember from "Cryin'" is that the backup singer was so loud she was drowning him out. Now, THAT, is some pipes. None of this matters, of course, since the bobbles have been programmed to only talk about how "special" and "unique" he is. Tongue bath bs.
Kris - "Apologize"/One Republic & "Heartless"/Kanye frickin' West
Kris' version of "Apologize" blew Danny out of the water but it didn't matter since the judges weren't paying attention and they are programmed to hate anything he does so that they get the Adam/Danny finale that they wanted all season. Simon must be right, after all. I wish one of the judges, I'll take Simon, would punch Kara in the throat. That might make me feel better. For his second performance of the night, Kris made the bravest and most brilliant song choice of the season. "Heartless" was absolutely perfect and the best song of the night. I can't wait to download it. You can listen here if you have forgotten how wonderful it was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPv0vbEW8xw. Of course, I will get to hear him sing it again on Wednesday night when they send him home so that Adam will not have any "real" competition and can walk to a win.
Should Go
Go-Key
Will Go
Kris Allen despite the DialIdol results below.
DialIdol Results
According to DialIdol, no one is safe. The voting order is: Adam, Kris and then Danny.
It was also obvious last week that, with the token girl out of the way, there was nothing to stop the Adam/Danny finale that the judges have been pushing for all season. I tried to prepare myself for The Crucifixion of Kris Allen via the Bobble-headed Dimwits by thinking of the positive things that will come from his ouster.
1. I won't have to watch the show anymore this season and there will be no more late nights writing the Rant.
2. Danny Gokey could beat Adam and become an even less successful Idol than Taylor Hicks.
3. Adam will win and Idol will go down in flames when 19 Entertainment is faced with all the lawsuits from "fans" who have lost their hearing listening to Adam on the radio.
4. Kara will undoubtedly say something stupid and guarantee that she will not be back next season. A pipe dream, I know.
5. Adam will get the pimp spot yet again making him the most pimped Idol in history (though I think he may already be).
6. There will, hopefully, never again be an Adam Lambert cover on EW.
7. You get the point. I could go on all night but I need to get to bed. :)
Gokey - "Dance Little Sister"/Terence Trent D'Arby & "You Are So Beautiful"/Joe Cocker
"Dance Little Sister" was a raspy, yelling mess. Granted, Paula didn't do him any favors with this song. "Sign Your Name" is a better song but Danny wouldn't have been able to pull it off either. Despite this, Randy assured the audience that raspy (aka hoarse) = good and Paula said it = magic. Danny then let us know that he is not *Nsync. Really, tool? I thought I was watching JT up there. Go home! As if the first was not bad enough, we then had to sit through "You Are So Beautiful" which Taylor Hicks sang a few seasons back. Randy said that Danny can really, really, really sing. Really? Simon then called it a vocal master class. Wonder if he still thought that a few seconds later when Danny said that he is not worried (i.e. doesn't care) about the opinions of the judges? Bet Simon wishes he could take back those lies now. Ungrateful cocky blighter. Watch This! It sums it up precisely. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVDoLU2HMjY
Pimp - "One"/U2 & "Cryin'"/Aerosmith
This was Adam's fourth trip to the pimp spot this season which just goes to show how unfair this season has been (Danny - 2; Kris - 1). If he is really all that then the judges would not need to guarantee votes by having him go last. Simon also proved how low he would go when he actually begged the audience to vote for Adam after his second performance. This is just unreal. Adam tortured "One" by forgetting the lyrics and attempting to cover it up with screeching. Trust me people. Look it up on YouTube and pay close attention. He completely botches the words. The one thing that I remember from "Cryin'" is that the backup singer was so loud she was drowning him out. Now, THAT, is some pipes. None of this matters, of course, since the bobbles have been programmed to only talk about how "special" and "unique" he is. Tongue bath bs.
Kris - "Apologize"/One Republic & "Heartless"/Kanye frickin' West
Kris' version of "Apologize" blew Danny out of the water but it didn't matter since the judges weren't paying attention and they are programmed to hate anything he does so that they get the Adam/Danny finale that they wanted all season. Simon must be right, after all. I wish one of the judges, I'll take Simon, would punch Kara in the throat. That might make me feel better. For his second performance of the night, Kris made the bravest and most brilliant song choice of the season. "Heartless" was absolutely perfect and the best song of the night. I can't wait to download it. You can listen here if you have forgotten how wonderful it was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPv0vbEW8xw. Of course, I will get to hear him sing it again on Wednesday night when they send him home so that Adam will not have any "real" competition and can walk to a win.
Should Go
Go-Key
Will Go
Kris Allen despite the DialIdol results below.
DialIdol Results
According to DialIdol, no one is safe. The voting order is: Adam, Kris and then Danny.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Idol Rant 5.6.09
Rock week continued the trend of manipulation that we have suffered through all season. The absolute worst performance of the season was not even acknowledged by the judges because they had to stick with their agenda and make sure that they throw Kris under the bus so that they get at least two of the final three that was scripted at the beginning of the season (pesky voters).
Screech! - "Whole Lotta Love"/Led Zeppelin
Adam actually lost the pimp spot this week but he did bring the expected over the top performance accompanied by a Billy Idol sneer and plenty of screeching. They must teach that in acting class in L.A. You all know that I didn't like it so I will move on to...
Allison - "Cry Baby"/Janis Joplin
Proof that the judges have lost touch - suggesting that Allison should have sung "Piece of my Heart" instead. What?!? Everybody and their Mama has sung that song on Idol (and everywhere else for that matter). I thought Allison did a great job with the song. Was it a little repetitive? Yes, but that is the way the song was written and Allison didn't have anything to do with that. Way to go Allison for finally speaking up for yourself! Simon wanted more personality and it looks like he is going to get it.
Kris/Go Danny Duet - "Renegade"/Styx
Kris mentioned that they had a hard time picking a song. My theory is that he eventually gave in and let Danny get away with picking this song. Getting stuck with the Goat was unfair to Kris. The beginning was okay but the song went down the shrill path towards the end thanks to Danny's shrill screaming. This was the first shove towards the bus for Kris.
Kris Allen - "Come Together"/Beatles
Kris actually rocked a lot harder than I expected him to. I was sure that he would pick a song with a grassroots rock feel (i.e. John Mellencamp) so I was shocked that he actually took a chance and went for it. None of that matters, of course, because the judges have to get Danny into the finals since they have preached about how great a singer he is all season. Kris met the bus with a final shove from Simon (ice cube?).
Go Danny Go - "Dream On"/Aerosmith
My favorite Aerosmith song of all time sung by a tool that I can't stand. Slash hinted that Danny had bit off more than he could chew with this song (and did anyone else get the feeling that he really didn't care for Danny? At all?). Boy, did Slash have it right. This may have been the single worst performance on Idol EVER. Even Sanjaya didn't make my ears hurt this bad. He BRUTALIZED and MAIMED the ending of the song as well as his vocal chords. If you think I am wrong, then you should definitely listen to the ending again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6wiYAJjaGo). The judges, of course, can't admit that they were wrong about Danny so they had to say that he will make it through to next week. Kara proved once again that she needs to get the boot when she told Danny that he should have picked from "early Aerosmith like Crazy or Cryin'". Really Kara? Dream On was released in the early 70's and it doesn't really get any earlier than that for Aerosmith. What a moron! I also can't believe that Tool had the nerve to tell Simon that he would have to watch the show back for himself to see if he really botched those last notes. Dude. Trust me. It was superbad. Michael Johns sang this song last season, and did a much better job, only to get shown the door. I know Danny hasn't been in the bottom yet but there is always a first time and we haven't had a shock elimination yet this season. No time like the present. Put the Go in Gokey.
Allison/Adam - "Slow Ride"/Foghat
Before I critique the actual performance, I wanted to bring up the pants. OMG they were bad. I instantly started receiving texts about them. Adam should burn them immediately. These guys did a great job picking out a song that would suit both of them. Allison seemed to actually help Adam tone it down a bit so that he wasn't screeching all over the place. This was 1000% percent better than the Kris/Tool duet (the blame for this does not rest with Kris).
New Feature!
# of Trips to the Pimp Spot Counter
Kris, & Allison - 1
Danny Go-key - 2
Adam Lambert - 3
I was shocked that they actually made Adam go first.
Should Go
Danny. The worst performance of the season and possibly in the history of the entire show. Did you listen to the scream again?
Will Go
Danny. I am begging....
DialIdol Results
Safe: Adam
Votes from top to bottom: Danny, Kris and Allison.
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