Idol Rant 5.6.09

Rock week continued the trend of manipulation that we have suffered through all season. The absolute worst performance of the season was not even acknowledged by the judges because they had to stick with their agenda and make sure that they throw Kris under the bus so that they get at least two of the final three that was scripted at the beginning of the season (pesky voters).

Screech! - "Whole Lotta Love"/Led Zeppelin
Adam actually lost the pimp spot this week but he did bring the expected over the top performance accompanied by a Billy Idol sneer and plenty of screeching. They must teach that in acting class in L.A. You all know that I didn't like it so I will move on to...

Allison - "Cry Baby"/Janis Joplin
Proof that the judges have lost touch - suggesting that Allison should have sung "Piece of my Heart" instead. What?!? Everybody and their Mama has sung that song on Idol (and everywhere else for that matter). I thought Allison did a great job with the song. Was it a little repetitive? Yes, but that is the way the song was written and Allison didn't have anything to do with that. Way to go Allison for finally speaking up for yourself! Simon wanted more personality and it looks like he is going to get it.

Kris/Go Danny Duet - "Renegade"/Styx
Kris mentioned that they had a hard time picking a song. My theory is that he eventually gave in and let Danny get away with picking this song. Getting stuck with the Goat was unfair to Kris. The beginning was okay but the song went down the shrill path towards the end thanks to Danny's shrill screaming. This was the first shove towards the bus for Kris.

Kris Allen - "Come Together"/Beatles
Kris actually rocked a lot harder than I expected him to. I was sure that he would pick a song with a grassroots rock feel (i.e. John Mellencamp) so I was shocked that he actually took a chance and went for it. None of that matters, of course, because the judges have to get Danny into the finals since they have preached about how great a singer he is all season. Kris met the bus with a final shove from Simon (ice cube?).

Go Danny Go - "Dream On"/Aerosmith
My favorite Aerosmith song of all time sung by a tool that I can't stand. Slash hinted that Danny had bit off more than he could chew with this song (and did anyone else get the feeling that he really didn't care for Danny? At all?). Boy, did Slash have it right. This may have been the single worst performance on Idol EVER. Even Sanjaya didn't make my ears hurt this bad. He BRUTALIZED and MAIMED the ending of the song as well as his vocal chords. If you think I am wrong, then you should definitely listen to the ending again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6wiYAJjaGo). The judges, of course, can't admit that they were wrong about Danny so they had to say that he will make it through to next week. Kara proved once again that she needs to get the boot when she told Danny that he should have picked from "early Aerosmith like Crazy or Cryin'". Really Kara? Dream On was released in the early 70's and it doesn't really get any earlier than that for Aerosmith. What a moron! I also can't believe that Tool had the nerve to tell Simon that he would have to watch the show back for himself to see if he really botched those last notes. Dude. Trust me. It was superbad. Michael Johns sang this song last season, and did a much better job, only to get shown the door. I know Danny hasn't been in the bottom yet but there is always a first time and we haven't had a shock elimination yet this season. No time like the present. Put the Go in Gokey.

Allison/Adam - "Slow Ride"/Foghat
Before I critique the actual performance, I wanted to bring up the pants. OMG they were bad. I instantly started receiving texts about them. Adam should burn them immediately. These guys did a great job picking out a song that would suit both of them. Allison seemed to actually help Adam tone it down a bit so that he wasn't screeching all over the place. This was 1000% percent better than the Kris/Tool duet (the blame for this does not rest with Kris).


New Feature!
# of Trips to the Pimp Spot Counter

Kris, & Allison - 1
Danny Go-key - 2
Adam Lambert - 3
I was shocked that they actually made Adam go first.

Should Go
Danny. The worst performance of the season and possibly in the history of the entire show. Did you listen to the scream again?

Will Go
Danny. I am begging....

DialIdol Results
Safe: Adam
Votes from top to bottom: Danny, Kris and Allison.